Winter Wonderland

By and large, I hate shopping. Especially during the Christmas rush, when I get to brave the endless masses of humanity in an endeavor to bring materialistic happiness to my friends and loved ones. Somehow people have decided that the best way to celebrate the season is to be as rude and selfish as possible, and I just want to stay away. So of course I wait until Christmas Eve to do my shopping every year. Not so this year, however, and it was magical. I came across two characters that made the whole day worth the trip. As a warning, I have to be somewhat vague as the people I buy gifts for are among the only people who actually read this so far.

My first benevolent stranger was at Best Buy where I was attempting to find a suitable game for a loved one. As I was examining a box, a voice from somewhere behind me and off to my right told me that I had made a great selection if I liked that that particular genre of game. I wasn't prepared for the sight before me when I turned to greet this keeper of video game knowledge. This man was eighty if he was a day, and he wore an eye patch. Not your typical, sterile, eye doctor affair. A large, black, pirate eye patch. I have no idea how I didn't laugh out loud because I was not prepared for Nick Fury to offer me advise on my purchase. Thank you kindly one-eyed stranger. What you lack in depth perception you more than make up for with kindness. I wish for beautiful cyclopean women to service you each night.

The other colorful character I actually did laugh my ass off as I passed. Anyone familiar with Clerks with remember the character Dante. I met Dante's doppelganger. And he was Jewish. And he worked at a mall kiosk. Dante's same stature and appearance down to the goatee, plus a yamaca and hawking cheap cell phone paraphernalia. I almost walked up and asked him if he was supposed to be here today. Figured no one would appreciate it but me.